Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Last weekend I went off to the coast, my annual solo trip - well almost annual. Last year I missed it somehow, busy lives and all. I loaded up as I always do; guitar, boombox, cds, journals, books, yarn and hook. And as I always do, most of that stuff sat untouched as I spent most of my time on the beach or just sitting in my cottage staring out at the ocean, doing nothing but breathing in and out.
As I sat and stared, I thought a lot about change.
The connection to this landscape is now onto it's 4th generation with my daughter now travelling summers on the two lane highways and dipping her toes in this particular cold water part of the Pacific. Every time I drive around a bend in the road I have this anticipation of what might have changed since the last time; I wonder what remains unchanged.
On Three Rocks Road the cows are there, as they have always been there, or so it seems to me. I roll down my window wave and yell, "Hi Cows!" because I always do. There stands the old barn, leaning just a little more to one side than last time. The fields are still for grazing with a clear line of sight towards the estuary.
As I roll into town I notice a new housing development across the highway from the golf course. There are a couple of new businesses on the main drag, and a couple of old businesses that did not make it through the tough coastal winter. When I check into my cottage I am shaken by change. The 1960's funky faux wood paneling has been painted a sparkling white, the wood burning fireplace has been replaced with a gas one, and the old ugly super comfy Barcoloungers have been retired with more modern and nominally more attractive chairs taking their place.
Ah, but the view! The view is still the same.
This last year has been full of change with even more big changes on the way, perhaps I have got a little dizzy and lost my way in an unrecognizable landscape. Isn't everything changing all of the time? Isn't that how life rolls? Change is good and natural and part of the evolution of our selves. We keep learning, growing, and all that jazz - moving on and up, or sometimes sideways.
Still, I think it is wise to occasionally stop and take stock, to get one's bearings...
...and to preserve some things; hold on to parts of ourselves and our lives that have depth, quality and meaning.
I didn't come to any great conclusions, nor did I have any epiphanies regarding life and change. Like I said, I just thought a lot about it. I know there are things that need to change, some work that needs doing. I also found a determination to reconnect with some old joy, to rekindle some neglected passions, and to set out some sign posts for myself in the midst of an ever changing landscape.
The truth is, even that view - that beautiful ocean view - is never the same, not really. Always changing with the tide, the light, the seasons...
Still, it never fails to fill me with awe, gratitude and peace. It always reminds me of where I come from, helps me to where I am going, and guides me back to myself.
And whenever the ocean sees me, it waves!
You are all welcome for that really lame joke, c'mon you know you smiled!