The Tale of a Long Lost Lumberjack - The Final Chapter

It's Monday and that means it's story time! The final installment of The Lumberjack's tale is here!

Last time we left off with the Lumberjack spending some time on a commune, you can read about it here. As his memory returned and he stopped drinking the tea, he knew it was time to move on. He said his goodbyes to the plant lovers and walked off in the early morning haze. He walked down the road a piece and formed a plan in his mind. He decided his best bet was to get to the coast. He hitched a ride with a big-rig truck driver and found himself in a small sea side town at the edge of the Pacific. Having worked a commercial fishing vessel a few years ago in Alaska, he looked for work as a deck hand down at the docks. He found work on a ship named The Dizzy Dame that was headed North, getting him closer to home.

The second day at sea near dusk, a terrible storm hit. Lightening struck, waves crashed and the ship was tossed about like a toy. LJ's foot was caught in some rigging and he fell on the slippery deck...all went dark.

He awoke just as the sun was rising, only to find himself barely hanging on to a bit of wreckage from the ship, adrift in an endless ocean. But wait! Was that land on the horizon? With his last bit of strength he paddled towards the tiny speck of an island. By sunset he crawled ashore and collapsed in exhaustion.

Moments later, he was surrounded by indigenous islanders who carried him off into the jungle.

The tribesmen hauled him up into the trees and imprisoned him in the branches above the jungle floor. All efforts to communicate with the tribe were ignored. After a while The Lumberjack found himself alone in the night. He fell asleep for a few hours, waking up with a start at the cry of some exotic jungle bird in the distance. He dug in his pocket, yes it was still there, his bit of string! LJ carefully worked at the knots of the trap until he could slip out. Using his string as a lasso, he made a crude zip-line and was able to slide down to the ground.

As his boots hit the earth a loud din of shouting broke out, and he saw that the tribesmen had been camouflaged in the brush. He wondered if there was any way he could out run them. It was too late, they had grabbed hold of him and were raising him above their heads. LJ was confused, were they smiling and laughing, what could this mean, what would come next?

They brought him to the village, placed a crown of feathers on his head and began singing and dancing near the fire. They smiled and cheered the Lumberjack, giving him a place of honor among the festivities. LJ wasn't sure what had happened, but he decided the best thing was to go along with it. Someone handed him a goblet of fermented drink that tasted like nothing he had ever had before.

The party kept on, LJ felt fantastic, things were getting a little weird, but that was ok. He began to tell his story to one of the tribe, how he desperately wanted to get home. The man just smiled and nodded and laughed. And then...

LJ remembers very little after this point. He recalls trekking through the jungle, climbing an ancient ruin, and paddling out to sea in a canoe.

He also says he has a vivid picture in his mind of riding a Unicorn, but he is fairly certain that was some kind of hallucination brought on by the fermented drink.

Two days later, his canoe was spotted by a passing yacht. He was brought aboard and given safe passage to a port on the Northern Oregon coast, where he was able to catch a ride from a friendly hippie all the way to our front door!

Phew! Amazing isn't it? We are so glad he's back home. He has no plans for further adventures at the moment. LJ says he is just gonna take it easy for a bit, settle in for the winter and maybe write a book about his journey.

And the moral of this story is, always carry string!

Tale of the Long Lost Lumberjack Part 3

Hello Monday! Yes, it's time for another installment of the Lumberjack's amazing adventure. A long way from home, many trials and tribulations befell him, yet he keeps on keepin' on. That Lumberjack has got a lot of pluck!

If you need to catch up, or need a little reminder you can click here for the full scoop.

As you may recall, LJ was working a farm tending to the horses whilst being tended to by the lovely Farrah. Though it was a goodish life and he had no complaints, LJ still felt an itching to get back on the road to try and find his way home.

So the Lumberjack said a tender farewell to Farrah and walked on down the road. Since he was working for his keep, he didn't have too much money in his pockets; he decided his best bet was to hobo on a west bound train. He hopped a freight under the cover of night and made a pallet on the floor of a box car. He was soon lulled to sleep by the clickety clack of the train going down the line.

Somewhere close to dawn he was startled awake by a commotion. Just then he felt a hard kick to his soft underbelly taking the air right out of him. As he was gasping for breath the beefy arms of a railroad Bull lifted him up and tossed him out of the moving train! He landed most unfortunately with a knock to the head and everything went dim.

Most fortunately, the tracks bordered the property belonging to a commune of plant spiritualists, a group of which were out for a sun rise wild-crafting walk. They stumbled upon the Lumberjack and gently roused him from his unconscious state. They took him back to the main house, plied him with medicinal teas and discovered that the poor man was quite dazed and suffering from a bit of amnesia.

The group decided to give him the name of 'Nightshade' for the time being and told him he was welcome to stay as long as he liked.

Understandably, the whole situation was rather unsettling to the Lumberjack, but his nature was one of rolling with whatever life threw his way. He settled into the daily routines of the commune. He wasn't entirely sure how he felt about the commune's whole ethos, but they certainly did have a way with the garden.

Perhaps there was something in those teas, LJ or 'Nightshade' as the case may be, found himself spending time communicating with the plants.

One day during morning meditation in the healing garden, he began to get a few flashes of memory. Every morning after that more pieces of the puzzle began to emerge from the depths of his mind. It wasn't all there yet, but he could wait.

Meanwhile, he found peace tending to the gardens and having long pleasant conversations with the flora.



Until next time...

The Harrowing Tale of a Lost Lumberjack - Part 2

Hello Monday! Today is a gray and soppy wet one so it seems the perfect sort of morning to continue on with the story of our dear Lumberjack. If you recall our last installation, we left the poor LJ trudging through the bush looking for a peopled town and breakfast. If you would like to settle in and get comfy, I shall go on.
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After wandering for what seemed a very long time indeed, The Lumberjack finally came to a very small town, the name of which has slipped his memory. He tells me that he followed a narrow lane that led into town and there spied a gathering of sturdy towns folk having their afternoon chat in front of the general store. He was quite a sight, dirtied and scraped from head to toe. The towns folk heard his story and offered him a steaming mug of coffee and a cheese sandwich.

As he had no money on him, just a bit of canvas and string, he was offered a job at the local rock quarry so that he might earn enough to purchase a bus ticket in the general direction of home.

He was hired on as a dump truck driver, he was a hard worker and gained the respect of the locals. He was given a place to bed down in the back of the feed store in exchange for custodial duties. Since the towns folk were mostly a stoic bunch not prone to gossip, they never asked much about The Lumberjack's life before stumbling into their little township. The Lumberjack found this quite agreeable as he had no desire to make himself too comfortable since he was just passing through.

After earning enough to pay for a bus ticket down the road, he packed up his canvas and string, said his goodbyes to the kind folks of Anytown USA and boarded the Greyhound West.

It is at this point in the story that things take a bit of a hazy turn; something about a rest stop break, a gang of thugs in the parking lot of a 7-11, a scuffle that resulted in a sound pounding, and a bruised and confused Lumberjack helplessly watching as the bus pulled away leaving him behind.

Now you might think that this was just the limit for poor LJ, but as the cosmic wheels turned, another opportunity would avail itself to him. A pretty young farm forewoman happened to witness the events as she was purchasing a packet of red licorice from the convenience store. She bolted from the shop and ran to his aid. That was how he landed a job as a farm hand. He worked with the horses mostly; mucking out stalls, grooming the fine animals, tidying the tack, and fixing fences. His bruises faded and his wounds healed quickly under the attentive care of the young forewoman. Though I pressed, LJ was not forthcoming about the extent of his relationship with the lovely lady who looked after him. He did finally tell me her name after a bit of cajoling. Her name was Farrah.

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By this time you may be understanding that this is a tale that must be told in serial, bits at a time - epic as it is and long. Remember though, The Lumberjack was lost for the better part of a year, certainly you can understand that to tell it quickly, to be chincy with the details would be most unfair. So, I am thinking that the remainder of this story should be told in weekly installments. Monday mornings seem just right, a tale of adventure to start out the week! Oh yes, I do like that don't you? It's settled then, Part 3 will begin in a week's time, wherein LJ takes leave of the farm, moves on down the road and falls in with a commune!

Welcome Home! The Harrowing Tale of a lost Lumberjack - Part 1

If you are somewhat new to my shiny place here, you may be wondering what in the world is this all about. Well, this is about a long lost lumberjack who was missing for quite some time. Oh yes, missing indeed! If you would like to get all caught up on The Lumberjack's history you can do so HERE.

For those of you familiar with The Lumberjack, you may have wondered from time to time just what he was up too. You may have even asked, "Where O where has that lumberjack been?" Well friends, perhaps it was wrong of me not to mention anything when he first went missing, but I didn't want needlessly worry you. I mean we all know how he's a wanderer, often gone on his journeys for months at a time. Still, he usually says goodbye and at the very least packs a knapsack. As time went on, we began to worry, more time passed without a word and we feared the worst.

Then the other day, I heard the faintest knock on the front door of the little green cottage. When I opened the door there he was, out of the blue, returned to us The Lumberjack! It has taken some time to pry the details of his harrowing tale and I don't think we will ever truly know the whole story. I will share with you what I have learned.

It all began on blustery fall Sunday last year. The Lumberjack was in the back yard raking leaves and letting his thoughts drift when suddenly, a giant beast attacked out of nowhere! The giant beast had slobbery jaws and horrible sharp teeth, LJ particularly remembers the terrible stench of his breath! The beast lunged, the beast chomped and that is the last thing The Lumberjack recalls until he woke up in a daze - nearly falling into the black abyss of an unknown storm drain.

Not knowing where he was nor how he got there, LJ leaned on his lumberjack skills climbing the nearest tallest tree (which happened to be a telephone pole) to get a birds-eye view and perhaps spot a familiar landmark.

Though he climbed ever higher and looked out over the land, he did not recognize anything at all. There was not even a single soul in sight to ask!

He began walking. He walked for an entire day not knowing what direction he was traveling, just hoping to find some people who might be able to shed some light on this most perplexing situation. As darkness started to fall, he found an old piece of canvas in a ditch, he searched his pockets for the length of string he always carried with him and made a makeshift camp in a dirt field where he spent a cold and fitful night.

In the small moments of sleep he was able to manage, he dreamed of terrifying beasts and a table full of flapjacks with real maple syrup. He was startled awake by a ferocious growling, but realized it was only his empty stomach.

Hungry, dejected and damp, he set out at first light eventually coming to an overgrown and long disused logging road, he followed the road hacking at the underbrush with a heavy stick. It was slow going and many miles later he wondered if he would ever make it to civilization, or breakfast. He sustained himself by drinking the dew from leaves and eating the last of the bramble-berries on the bushes. He kept on.

This is where I must leave off for today. I promise to continue The Lumberjack's compelling story in Part 2 on Wednesday. Stay tuned, you really don't want to miss it!